Motherloss is what we are left with when we experience the death of a Mother.
Losing your mother can feel as though you have lost a part of yourself and this can affect you in ways you could have never imagined.
Grieving your mother can mean:
Mourning the relationship you had
Mourning the relationship, you wished you had
Mourning the mother you never really got to know
Motherloss can bring feelings of sadness, fear, anger, loneliness and uncertainty about where we belong in the world. There is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a Mother.
Motherloss is an individual journey that sometimes feels lonely and isolating. Some may feel the expectation from others that they should “be over it” by now, even when their pain feels as raw as ever. Others mask their pain, and no one would ever suspect how deeply they still hurt inside, and long for the woman they once called Mom.
Motherloss can feel like a hollow ache, unbearable at times. The loneliness can be overwhelming, even when we’re surrounded by people. It can wear us down over the years, leaving us unsure if we’ll ever feel quite like ourselves again. Losing your mother is a lifelong journey where grief can stir within, from unexpected waves of sadness to spurts of gratitude for having loved so intensely. Even decades later, this grief may soften, but it remains a quiet companion that is woven into who we are and how we move through the world. Over time, we may learn to carry it with grace, but that doesn’t mean it disappears. Grief can become a weight we’ve grown used to, or a part of ourselves we rarely name, yet still feel. During busy, full lives, there often comes a need to pause, to tend to what’s still tender.
This retreat was lovingly created for women who are ready to explore the many layers of their grief, regardless of how much time has passed. You will find gentle wellness practices, supportive resources and opportunities to reconnect with yourself and others in a space that is loving and safe. As therapists and motherless daughters, we understand how this grief can thread through your life, resurfacing when you least expect it.
Our grief is our love and bears witness to the fact that our love for our Mothers existed.
Heidi Sturgeon MSW RSW and Salvina Castiglione, BSW RSW are Social Workers and practicing therapists with many years of experience. They originally met at a retreat in Nova Scotia at Oceanstone Seaside Resort. Through conversation they both quickly discovered they had much more in common than just the retreat. They realized they were both daughters who had lost their mothers early on in their lives. As they witnessed and shared their loss stories, they felt a connection that could not be explained. They soon discovered their shared passion for working with motherless daughters. This led to their collaboration in creating a community of support for motherless daughters in Canada. Through that, the Motherloss Retreat was born.
My Mother died on September 4, 1981. I lay by her side as she took her last breath. At 19, I officially became a Motherless Daughter and started my first year of university the week after. I did my very best to appear fine, but inside, I was numb, and felt I belonged to no one. For many years, I struggled to witness my own grief. The numbness created a void that I filled with food, and my loneliness led me to settle, just so that I could feel loved. My grief shaped my life.
I often wonder who I might have been if my Mother had not died. I know I was someone with a life, a personality and a few dreams. But I hardly remember her. The person who was impacted by my Mother loss is the version of me that I am most familiar with. I’ve spent many years of my adult life trying to access the part of me that remembers a Mother’s love.
It all began in September of 1976 when my Mother was admitted to hospital for a hernia operation. What seemed like a routine surgery turned into a life- changing, devastating experience for us all. They found cancer and told us she had thirty days to live. In that moment, everything changed. Who I was and who I may have become, didn’t matter anymore.
It was my first year of high school. Some days, all I could think about was whether today was the day. Other days, I counted how many more days before the thirty days were up. I was 14 years old and admittingly a very sheltered girl. I was raised in a tradition Italian household and was the youngest of six kids with siblings that were much older than me. I didn’t have much say in anything, but at 14 I began carrying a heavy load. A load that got heavier as the years passed and Mom’s cancer progressed until her death.
As I reflect on my journey, I have compassion for the young girl in me who longed for her Mother and carried her grief alone and in silence. At that time, there was no support or resources to validate my feelings. That has stayed with me throughout my 40 years in Social Work and inspired me to offer grief counselling and of course, The Mother Loss Retreat.
These days, I think less about who I could have been. I am embracing with courage and compassion, the version of me that aligns with my highest path and purpose.
I look forward to meeting you and being a part of your healing journey.
Hi, I’m Heidi. As a therapist, I’m used to hearing the stories of others, but sharing my own is something new. I feel that it’s important to talk about my own experience with mother loss, so that you can understand why this subject is so important to me. At the tender age of 16, I became a motherless daughter.
My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was 12 and died in hospital two weeks after my 16th birthday. I carried my loss in silence. I was unaware that my grief needed a voice. I really had no idea what grief was or that I was even grieving. Sometimes, my grief wore a mask of anger that was confusing, uninvited and misunderstood. My silence stayed with me for decades, shaping me in ways I wouldn’t understand until much later.
At 18, I knew I wanted to work as a Social Worker. My younger self was drawn to a profession in Social Work, where I could help others in the ways that I never received support earlier on.
The quiet ripple effects of loss are seen and unseen, shaping how we move through the world. I came to understand that grief lives in our bodies, our nervous system, as well as in our patterns and responses. Unacknowledged or unprocessed grief can become stuck showing up as anxiety, irritability and even numbness. For years I didn’t have the language for what I was carrying, but my body always knew.
Through therapy, mindfulness practices, and spiritual mentorship, I was able to begin healing my grief. I have learned that when we can hold our grief with tenderness, kindness and compassion, it becomes a source of healing rather than pain.
As a Social Worker for almost three decades, grief has shaped the heart of my work. I’ve sat with others, while they navigated their loss and pain. I have witnessed the complexities of their healing with compassion and understanding. As I move through life, I reflect on how my grief continues to show up in who I have become and reminds me of what I’ve carried throughout my journey. Early mother loss doesn’t just stay in the past. For me, it has become part of who I am.
My healing journey has taken me to retreats where I felt seen and understood. They taught me how transformative it is to gather in community. This Mother Loss retreat is rooted in these experiences as well as my own lived experience, my work, and a deep belief that healing happens through connection.
If what I’ve shared here resonates with you, consider joining me at the Mother Loss Retreat, I’d be honoured to meet you.
This retreat offers a safe and welcoming environment for self reflection, heartfelt connection and nurturing of the body, mind and spirit
The group experience lies at the heart of healing and connection.
Grief sessions will be led by the facilitators, Heidi & Sal, who will share insights, strategies and helpful practices that encourage participants to reflect on healing their grief. Each woman, including Heidi & Sal, bring their own story with courage and vulnerability. Sharing our grief can help build connections and bonds that extend outside the retreat. Together we can create a community of women who understand the depths of mother loss.
Writing in your journal is a helpful tool for self reflection and healing.
During the retreat you will have dedicated journal writing sessions with thoughtful writing prompts to guide your reflections. There will also be moments on your own to write freely from whatever is in your heart.
Journals and pens will be provided to each participant.
Guided meditations and other mindful practices are an important part of the Motherloss Retreat.
Mindfulness, guided meditation, relaxation and self compassion practices will be offered as gentle tools to help navigate grief with kindness and presence. Through carefully led guided practices you will have the opportunity to explore and practice ways to calm your mind, relax your body, and ease emotional overwhelm. These practices are designed to support you with finding peace, cultivating resilience and nurturing well being.
Sessions may take place outdoors in nature or inside in the Great Room.
Each day of the retreat the facilitators will introduce a new practice that moves the energy in the body in ways that supports growth and vitality.
Connection is what happens when like minded women gather to share their stories and realize they are not alone. Oftentimes, lifelong friendships are made at retreats like these. In fact, Heidi and Sal met at a retreat and their shared experience with Mother Loss led to the collaboration that inspired this Mother Loss Retreat.
During this retreat, you’ll have time to yourself to reflect, relax and recharge. Life can get so busy, and this retreat is designed so that you can slow down, allow space for your grief, and nurture yourself